The Contest

Been a while between posts. With the exception of LegumeMan malarkey (check  out the latest goss at the LegumeMan Blog), I haven’t been doing much that’s post-worthy of late. That said, I do have two new pieces of news.

News 1 is:

I have been reliably informed that I have written a new short story for the LegumeMan free series. It is called the Contest and can be found here. Read away. It’s completely free and it’ll give you something to reminisce about with your eventual grandchildren.

News 2:

Should Have Killed the Kid is going cheap on Kindle at the moment. 99c is a small price to pay for such uplifting apocalyptic happiness (though I’m sure you could find it for free too if you mosey on over to the torrent sites).

If you give either a shot, you have my immense gratitude.

Cheers
RFH.

What’s new…

Stuff of interest since last I posted:

LegumeMan’s latest has been unleashed! Autopsy 1: Flesh of the Dead is now available. The first in a brand new series of novellas from the inimitable Steve Gerlach.

Details can be found at the LegumeMan site.

Purchases can be made at the following locations: Amazon, Kindle, Smashwords,  LegumeMan Shop

Everyone should purchase a copy as it has been scientifically proven to improve the condition of all four bodily humours.

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I have been reliably informed that Brett McBean’s Neighbourhood Jungle has started shipping. This wonderful tome includes my short story Jungle Juice.  Copies can still be nabbed from Tasmaniac Publications and I heartily recommend you nab four.

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The beautiful people at Scurvy Ink have released a LegumeMan shirt for all those who require a higher Bean/Chest coverage ratio. Purchases can be made at their website. And while you are there, why not pick up a few others from the awesome selection on offer- including a few tasty offerings by LegumeMan authors Matthew Revert and Andrew Gallacher.

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A couple of reviews have come to light for Should Have Killed the Kid.  (okay they have been online for a bit but I may have forgotten to share them previously). First a reasonably good one from Small Press Reviews. Then another, less complementary one, from The Horror Fiction Review where my potty mouth gets me in trouble again.

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A Fantastic Deal From the Brothers Gunther

Breaking news from LegumeMan HQ:

To celebrate the release of Matthew Revert’s The Tumours Made Me Interesting (and because there just isn’t enough free things in the world) LegumeMan Books is exceedingly damp betwixt the thighs to present a limited time offer.

Want free eBooks?

If you purchase a copy of the acclaimed The Tumours Made Me Interesting, be it print or eBook, then forward evidence* of said purchase to info@legumeman.com, we will fire you off two eBooks of your choice from the LegumeMan Catalogue, in the format of your choice, absolutely free.

It’s that simple.

Take you pick from the awesome titles at the LegumeMan site (www.legumeman.com). Then send us through an email with your evidence, the books you want and let us know what format you desire and you can enjoy thrice the reading pleasure for your dollars.

*Valid evidence would be an order confirmation from Amazon\Smashwords\Barnes & Noble\other place you purchased the item. If you are leery about any personal details on these things, feel free to photoshop/edit them out.

This offer will be valid on confirmations dated prior to the 7th of November. After that you can only berate yourself for dallying.

NOTE: because we here at LegumeMan know that many of you have already rushed out to purchase your very own piece of genius, we feel that it would be unfortunate for you to miss out on this fine offer. Therefore we want to make it clear that if you have already purchased Tumours prior to this missive, you are still entitled to the free eBooks.

Let the night be.
The Brothers Gunther

Purchase options for The Tumours Made Me Interesting.

Print: LegumeMan ShopAmazonBarnes & Noble,

eBook: KindleNookSmashwords

And if you are looking for a suggestion, these two saucy titles  might make lovely freebies.

Not at all a shameless plug 1.
Not at all a shameless plug 2. 

Cheers
RFH

The Tumours Made Me Interesting has been released!

One of the most eagerly anticipated of LegumeMan’s releases is finally upon us. The Tumours Made Me Interesting, the follow up to Matthew Revert’s critically acclaimed debut A Million Versions of Right, is now available for purchase.

Copies are available from the following locations. Read on for blurbage and whatnot.

Print: LegumeMan ShopAmazon, Barnes & Noble,

eBook: Kindle, Nook, Smashwords

Hello, my name is Bruce Miles and my life means nothing to no one.

When I was 12, I watched a falcon carry away my father, leaving me to care for my mother while a mysterious illness slowly transformed her into an arm. Events like these tend to ensure a bleak future and, until recently, I was making good on that promise.

I was the sort of person you didn’t notice. I wasn’t worth noticing. Just a talentless nobody destined to die alone and unremembered.

Then I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and everything turned around.

You see, it turns out I have a gift for illness. My tumours aren’t like other tumours. They’re special. And now that I’m going to die, my once miserable life may actually be worth living. There’s this lady, Fiona. She’s what you’d call a sickness enthusiast and she has a plan that’ll rocket me to superstardom in the underground world of disease fetishists. With her help, I’m going to chase the elusive perfect tumour that will be both my legacy and the key to being something I’ve never been…

…interesting.

More info and a sample is on the LegumeMan site


Interview with Brett McBean

It’s interview time. And today’s bunny in the spotlight is none other than Brett McBean. A man who is not only the author responsible for some of my favourite stories ever, but also a staunch trailer wrangler who possesses a remarkable tolerance for poor nicknames and MS Paint skills that can trigger Stendhal Syndrome.

It is a gift to know him.

Hi Brett and thank you for taking the time to talk to me.

If I won’t, who will?

First, let’s talk influences. What inspired Brett McBean to start writing? And what influences have shaped your written work over the years?

I was in the last year of my three-year music course at College, and I was feeling unsatisfied with my chosen career path (I was a percussion major, and was looking at going into music teaching/session playing). I liked playing music, and teaching is a most noble profession, but I could tell that it just wasn’t what I was truly meant to do with my life. Right from an early age I knew I wanted to work in the arts in some capacity. I just didn’t know what medium until I was in my early 20s (when I was young I wanted to be a cartoonist; then in my teens I flirted with the notion of becoming a special effects wizard – Tom Savini was my hero around that time; then music took over my life soon after). That’s when, needing a break from the music industry, I turned my attention to writing. I had always been a big reader, and had dabbled in writing over the years, but it wasn’t until I sat down and started seriously working on a novel that it hit me like a swift front-kick to the cojones: this was what I was meant to do with my life. Writing fiction felt right. I was home.

Richard Laymon was and still is a huge influence. He was my first literary obsession; I discovered his writing at just the right time – in my early teens. Laymon’s razor-sharp pen and sense of unbridled bloody fun struck a chord with me. Stephen King was another big influence: Pet Sematary was the first adult novel I ever read, and The Shining was the first, and only, novel to truly scare me. I think he’s a master at creating believable worlds and characters to inhabit them. Cinema is also a massive influence on my writing. I’m as big a film-buff as I am a book-nerd. Ultimately I love great stories and memorable characters, and for me, it doesn’t matter where those things come from – fiction, film or songs – as long as it moves me, I take a piece of that art with me to help inspire my own work.

Who continues to inspire? Who are some of your contemporaries you’re really digging at the moment?

I simply dig anyone who is passionate about what they do, and create art that is original and true to themselves – whether it be literature, film or music. Creativity inspires me.

Do you have any particular writing rituals when you are working? Are you a planner or do you tend to just wing it? Any special writing places? Or are you a write anywhere kind of guy? Computer or Pen?

I don’t plan stories. I do, however, mull the idea over in my mind for a while before actually sitting down to write. When I feel I have a decent grasp on the setting and main characters, then I’ll sit down at my computer and begin typing. I love being surprised by what happens in my stories and by things my characters do. I almost always never know the ending. The first draft is a journey into the unknown, and I love the discovery while writing a new story.

I always write in my study, at my computer, and with absolute quiet. I can’t write to music; I even get distracted if my wife is watching the television out in another room. Editing, however, I can do anywhere. I actually prefer not to edit in my study. I simply take my red pen, the print-out of my first draft, and go to the couch, the bedroom, or, if it’s a nice day, outside, and tear that manuscript to shreds.

You’re a bit of a veteran of the Australian horror writing scene now. How do you view the local scene at the moment? How have things changed over the years? Has it become easier or more difficult to get published locally?  And, as you’re having quite a bit of success in Germany at the moment, are you ever tempted to pack the bags and head on overseas?

To be honest, I kinda live in a metaphorical bubble, and I’m not terribly up-to-date with the goings-on of the local horror scene. The small press seems to be healthy (your good selves and Tasmaniac are wonderful publishers), and there are still some mass-market titles being released, so I guess people are still reading horror. But, like everywhere else, I’m sure it’s going through a period of uncertainty, what with the explosion of e-books and the shaky economy, and as a result, editors are probably being more picky, and therefore it is probably harder to get published, period, than, say, ten years ago.

Germany has been very good to me; the readers have really responded to my work, and at this rate, I may have to consider packing my bags, learning German and relocating.

Your first Novel, The Last Motel, has recently been re-released by LegumeMan in an all new special edition. Can you run us through the inspiration behind this tale? And maybe also give us a bit of a spiel on the differences between the original and the latest, rather unique release? 

The two main inspirations were: Richard Laymon novels, and low-budget horror movies from the ‘70s/early ‘80s. They say first novels are usually the most reflective of the author, and since The Last Motel was the second novel I ever wrote, it combines those elements that were closest to my heart at the time, and were huge inspirations growing up and which led me to become a horror writer. I simply wanted to write a gritty, gruesome, fast-paced horror novel that was as fun and entertaining as a Laymon story, and as moody and grim as movies such as Last House on the Left, Maniac and Friday the 13th.

This latest edition is more in line with the cinematic nature of the novel: it pretends to be a novelisation of a movie (nonexistent) that was made in the early ‘80s: a brutal, slasher-esque exploitation flick called The Last Motel. So, a faux trailer was made, as was lobby cards, posters, production stills, even a complete soundtrack. We wanted to have fun with this release and create a product that was in the spirit of the novel. The text of the novel was also altered slightly in order to make the story take place in 1980.

Your collection of short stories, Tales of Sin and Madness has also been re-released this year and has been very well received. What is your preference when writing, shorts or novels? And do you view the two as requiring distinctly different approaches?

I definitely prefer to write novels. I’ve always been more of a novel reader than a short story one, and that love of the longer form has carried over into my writing. I love being able to really sink my teeth into a world and spend a lot of time exploring it and the characters. I also think the longer form lends itself better to pure storytelling, which I ultimately prefer to both read and write, whereas short stories often benefit from being non-linear and more experimental.

So, the two are vastly different forms of writing. I have to be in different head space depending on whether I’m working on a novel or a short story. I see the novel as a highway that travels through many different terrains; it’s a long, fascinating journey that’s as much about the scenery as the destination. The short story, on the other hand, is a CBD: compact, busy, chock-full of images and often leads you in circles.

As a writer, you need to approach both forms in different ways, and you need to understand that they require unique sets of skills and challenges. Being proficient in one form doesn’t necessarily make you proficient in the other. I felt comfortable in the long form right from when I first began writing; it took me years to feel at home in the shorter form.

2011 has also seen the release of your third novel, Torment (Severed Press). Care to give us a bit of a spiel on this release? What is the inspiration behind it?

Torment is a continuation of my short story ‘The Cycle’ (first published as a bonus story in the hardcover of the Biting Dog edition of The Last Motel, and reprinted in Tales of Sin and Madness, published by LegumeMan Books). Basically, it deals with a man by the name of Jim Clayton who stumbles into a small town in Georgia, USA, and discovers the unique – and sadistic – way in which the local law enforcement deal with ‘outsiders’. While being hunted through the mountains, he meets a young girl who holds some very dark secrets, and a man who possesses a most unusual item: a human soul. It’s up to Jim to try and save the girl while fighting to stay alive against the hunters.

In terms of story and character, the main inspiration behind this novel was David Morrell’s First Blood. I’ve been a long-time fan of both the book and the movie, and wanted to write a survival story in the same vein as Morrell’s classic. In terms of setting, Dickey’s Deliverance was another inspiration (as well as the film). When I visited the States in 2003, I travelled toGeorgia, where the movie was filmed, and drew a lot of inspiration for the novel whilst there: the towns, the environment, the people.

Another of your more recent releases is the first novella in your “Jungle Trilogy”, Concrete Jungle (Tasmaniac Press). Care to fill us in on the concept behind this series? And what do the future Novellas hold? 

The ‘Jungle’ novella trilogy is my breakdown of society story, mixed with an apocalyptic saga. It concerns the world being overrun by thick jungle, effectively plunging the modern world into primitive living overnight. So not only do the survivors have to contend with a new and dangerous landscape, but do so without electricity, gas and all modern convenience. Each novella deals with a separate group of people dealing with this sudden jungle apocalypse. The first is set wholly in an underground car park; the second in a small area of a suburban shopping strip, and the third encompasses whole suburbs. So each subsequent novella expands on the scope of the previous one, while building on the ‘jungle’ mythos. The first book, Concrete Jungle, was merely the entree; the next two are the darker, more vicious mains.

Your second novel, The Mother, originally saw print as a mass market paperback from the sadly ill-fated Lothian Books. Following that, it was released as a limited edition from Thunderstorm Books that I believe has sold out. Any plans afoot for another edition of this book? And what was the inspiration behind this rather unique tale? In particular its structure is very interesting. What made you decide to follow the story of the Mother indirectly through the eyes of the various other characters rather than a more traditional narrative?

There are plans for a major Australian publisher to release a digital edition of the novel sometime in the future. The same publisher has also mentioned the possibility of publishing a trade paperback edition, too, but that’s not set in stone at this point. Hopefully that does happen, as I would love to see the novel released again in book-form.

The idea of writing a novel about a woman hitchhiking along a highway, searching for the man who murdered her daughter, was one of my earliest ideas. However, the concept of telling the story through the eyes of the people who pick up the mother, rather than the mother herself, came about later, while I was brainstorming the novel. I thought it would be a much more interesting way of telling this woman’s story, seeing how other people saw this woman, as she slowly degenerated as the story progressed. That structure seemed right, as it tied in with the theme of identity and the loss thereof.

Also, I felt that if I told the story solely from the mother’s point of view, the novel could get repetitive and stale – just a long series of the woman hopping into cars and wondering if this man is her daughter’s killer. By telling the story from multiple viewpoints, it gave me room to move, and I could not only delve into different personalities, but play around with how their seemingly isolated stories actually relate to this woman and her various personality traits and descent into hell.

You currently have another Novella floating around too, Dead Tree Forest (Delirium Books). This adds to the list of Novellas you’ve released (The Jungle Trilogy, The Familiar Stranger, Sins of the Father). Is the Novella form something you find yourself drawn to? Or is it more a matter of opportunities that have presented themselves over the years?

It’s both. I do love the novella. It marries the longer scope and narrative form of the novel with the punch of the short story. I find a lot of my ideas seem to suit the novella form, and I’m more than happy to go with my muse. But I’ve also been fortunate to have numerous wonderful publishers invite me to write them a novella – and since I love the form so much, I always say yes.

Any other projects in the works that you are at liberty to discuss?

I have a few books planned for release over the next few years, but the only one I can talk about is my next novel, The Awakening. This novel is very close to my heart, and took a long time to complete (it’s by far my longest novel to date). It’s essentially a coming-of-age story, but with a very dark edge. The limited edition hardcover is tentatively scheduled for a 2013 release.

What other hobbies does Brett McBean have? Word is you are quite the drum maestro. Any musical plans lurking in your future?

I like to cook, and I have dabbled in martial arts over the years. As for my music: no definite plans lurking, but I would like to get back into a band someday. I miss the collaborative element that being in a band brings, and pounding away at the drums with other musos is just so much fun.

As anyone who has friended you on Facebook could attest, you are a man who loves his lists. To continue the vibe: if you had to kill someone and these five options were the only ones available, which order would you choose? Explain your reasoning.

Killer Attack Sloth / Strudel injection / Insertion of broom handle into victim’s rectum and then pushing off great height (preferably a bunk bed) / Sprocket barrage / Whale sodomy.

Well it would depend on how much I dislike that person. If we accept that the person is a right bastard and deserves every pain one can inflict on said person, then my order would be thus:

1/ Insertion of broom handle into victim’s rectum and then pushing off great height (preferably a bunk bed) – this just fills me with all sorts of devilish glee, and I can’t help but think of Cannibal Holocaust (plus, imagine the splinters!).

2/ Killer Attack Sloth – the waiting would be more excruciating than the actual death itself, which would be a plus. Also, I could watch all six seasons of Webster while waiting for the sloth to attack.

3/ Sprocket barrage – I like how this would be incredibly annoying for the person, with death occurring due to eventual blood-loss from millions of tiny sprocket holes.

4/ Strudel injection – I put this second-last because, although it would be incredibly painful to inject strudel into someone’s body, it would be a waste of delicious dessert.

5/ Whale sodomy – as a lover of animals, I would feel too sorry for the whale.  

What is a book that everyone should read and why?

The Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck. Quite simply one of the best books I’ve ever read. And it reminds us just how important family is.

What is a song that everyone should listen to and why? 

‘Dark Was the Night, Cold Was the Ground’, by Blind Willie Johnson. Everyone should hear the wonder that was Blind Willie Johnson, and hey, it was deemed worthy enough to send into space for alien life forms to one day hear, so who am I to argue with science?

What is a film that everyone should watch and why?

Any of Charlie Chaplin’s silent features. You can never have enough laughter in the world, and Chaplin was the greatest.

Thank you Brett for talking to me.

And I would like to thank you very much for talking to me. Thank you very much.

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Brett’s legume books can be found at: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Book Depository, Smashwords.

His Concrete Jungle novellas can be found here: Tasmaniac Publications

Torment can be found at Severed Press (also I believe the above legume links might pick this one up)

For other releases check his website: www.brettmcbean.com

Bam!

Coming soon from LegumeMan Books.

In some of the most exciting news you’ll ever hear, Matthew Revert’s The Tumours Made Me Interesting has now been sent to the printers and should  be available for purchase in the next couple of weeks.

Sure, I could wax lyrical about how brilliant a book this is (it’s pretty brilliant) and how everyone on the planet should own a copy (they really should). However, I figure I’ll let infinitely more intelligent and respected people than myself convince you of its merit:

“I remember looking at the clock and seeing a time I’d never seen before.”

“You see, it really is that simple. Genius is always simple in the end, and I say that having known Raymond Carver and Stanley Elkin well, and having worked for Frank Zappa, Carlos Santana and Miles Davis. I used to think I was a genius. I wonder about that now, reading this latest book by Matt Revert. Maybe I’m just Max Brod and not Franz Kafka.  Revert truly is the Light and the Way. He’s not just good, he’s the very, very rare Good Thing. If you can’t hear it, then no one can help you. Not even me.”

-Kris Saknussemm, author of Zanesville, Private Midnight, Enigmatic Pilot, Sinister Miniatures and Reverend America.

“Matthew Revert’s novel, Tumors made me interesting, is one of the finest pieces of liver-fried prose I have ever read. It has the familiarity of a Beatles’ song on bad acid, the social awareness of a Dickens raped by a chimp with rabies and the humor of André Breton trying to shave with a lawn-mower. Remarkably well written, full of genius word-plays and images, it is a great piece of fiction, which will make you laugh and cringe, not necessarily at the same time.”

-Sébastien Doubinsky , author of The Babylonian Trilogy

“How does one define the works of Matthew Revert? ‘Erotic surrealism’ comes to my mind, but I fear that it does not fully suffice. Whatever the definitions, this is very unusual fiction that strikes out boldly and confidently on its own distinctive path of creativity.”

- Tabish Khair, author of The Thing about Thugs and Filming

See the LegumeMan site for blurbage and the like.



 

Interview with Andrew Gallacher

Once more into the fray. Another interview for your reading pleasure. This time from the enormously talented Andrew Gallacher. A man who is not only a fantastic author and artist, but also renowned for his humanitarian work and commitment to eternal optimism.

Hello Mr Gallacher and thank you for taking the time to talk to me.

Let’s kick off in the usual style and talk influences. What has inspired and influenced your writing over the years? Be it art, fiction, movies, music or other format, run us through the gamut from your early years, right up until now.

When I was a child I developed pretty neat drawing skills. I kind of ignored them for a while because I was more interested in playing computer games. Then I got a bit older and I was a rotten looking kid with acne who played computer games and I realised there was no way I was going to get laid so I began drawing and painting again. Following a stream of success – comparative to the unfortunate circumstances to begin with – I eventually got into writing just to add to the effectiveness of attracting women. Art, fiction, movies, music and other formats were also quite influential, yes.

As a follow on, who are some of the authors that are inspiring you at the moment?

That’s a hard one to answer because I haven’t read a book in years. At the moment I’m torn between two aesthetic choices, two attitudes to storytelling. I need to figure out which direction to take. The story comes after. It’s hard to decide, especially now, what with the changing of the season and all.

Not content to be a pretty swell writer, you are also a fantastic artist.  You did the cover and internal illustrations for your book, Snake Jaw, and also the brilliant covers for Brett McBean’s Tales of Sin and Madness and the forthcoming Penetralia by Jordan Krall. Do you derive a similar satisfaction from drawing and painting that you get from writing? And do you feel the two are intertwined or do they require completely different processes to prepare for?

I got really into art in high school and had all these delusions of stardom. Then when I finished school and went out into the big bad world and realised I wasn’t worth shit, I decided to fuck art off and become a writer. That was 2003, it’s taken me this long and I still suck. Painting and I still aren’t on entirely friendly terms, although it’s not its fault.

Is there anywhere people can track down more of your art if they are interested? Any other art projects that are currently in the works?

There are a few projects on the side I’ve been chipping away at; a monochromatic children’s book called Silencio. It’s about a lost kid and written by my partner. Also, a series of paintings exploring theUncannyValley, particularly in human substitute dolls and robots. Aside from that, I’d prefer it if people didn’t track down my other, older work. Those ideas are stale. Get over them. Move on.

If the opportunity presented itself and you were absolutely guaranteed that there’d be no consequences, would you fist a dolphin? 

As a dolphin that offends me.

How does that writing process work for you? Are you a scribbler or typer? Big on planning? Or do you prefer to wing it? Any other writing rituals that’d you’d care to share?

I plan my books, usually chapter by chapter, and that happens very quickly, often in a fevered, single sitting. Then I would begin to chip away at writing the chapters. It’s in the first initial plan that I make the dots connect, and the story unfolds at a pace that excites me, which is what I hope to reproduce for the readers in the final product. The actual writing stage is quite tiresome and I hate it, so I usually drink to make it tolerable.

Let’s talk about Snake Jaw, you debut release from LegumeMan.  Can you run us through a bit of the inspiration behind the tale? What were the underlying themes you were hoping to explore?

I wanted to create one of those Mills and Boon ‘Medical Romances’ but completely change the upbringing of all the characters so they ended up being fuckups in horrible situations, whose lives are shit and babies die. I dislike Mills and Boon and affirm to create more elaborate scenarios where things just don’t add up or turn out for their characters. That’s probably the only way I can be happy in this life.

Like many of LegumeMan’s authors, you’re not afraid to get down and dirty, and there is a fair whack of unpleasantness in Snake Jaw. What is it that draws you toward the more, shall we say extreme subject matter?

When I was younger and terrified of the outside world I went about trying to expose myself to as much awful shit from real life as possible, as a way of dealing, I suppose. I just ended up being quite blasé about virtual depictions of violence to the point where something like Snake Jaw is just my version of kitchen sink light drama.

You’re mid-fist on the dolphin. You’ve managed to procure a funnel and trap a passing vole. Once again, you are guaranteed no consequences. Would felching be on the cards or is that one step too far?

Felching is a common practice amongst us dolphins, yes.

As well as Snake Jaw, you have been involved in the writing and art of the Modern Gentlemen comics released by Pleasant Productions. Can you give us a bit of a spiel regarding these comics? Also what comes more naturally for you, writing comics or writing prose?

Modern Gentlemen is like being in a band with a bunch of other mildly anti-social misfits, but instead of making instrumental rock music with additional spoken word, we draw sexist, morally reprehensible filth because we know we won’t get any chicks either way. Secretly, and I’m breaking the MG code here, it’s a public way for us to swap sex stories with one another. We’re all in love. Writing and drawing comics are equally as tedious as each other. Writing hurts my brain. Drawing hurts my back. Doing nothing is entirely painless, but I can’t bear the thought of dying a nobody. Gotta leave some little turds around for my estranged kids to find and hopefully think I was kinda cool, albeit absent.

What does Andrew Gallacher do for fun? Any hobbies or other interests?

I’ve begun a collection of old medical instruments and other assorted paraphernalia. Things like that really interest me. I have a fantasy where if civilisation was to end and I somehow survived, I’d still have some basic tools to fix myself the old fashioned way. I’d be a travelling doctor, addicted to whores and morphine.

Any other projects in the pipeline that you are at liberty to discuss?

Doing the dishes.

The vole has ceased its sexual spelunking. Climax has been reached and thickened the surrounding water substantially. Once more, no consequences. Would you insist the dolphin dons a smart skirt suit for some post coital frottage? Or would you be satisfied with a simple summer dress?

I guess a summer dress is fine I don’t see how that’s relevant to my work.

What is a movie everyone should see and why?

Avatar. It has important humanitarian and environmental messages. If everybody saw it, maybe, just maybe, there’d be hope for us.

What is a book everyone should read and why?

Something entertaining according to their tastes.

What is a CD everyone should listen to and why?

Same as above.

Thank-you, Mr Gallacher for taking the time to talk to me.

A pleasure. Thank you.

Snake Jaw can be found on: Amazon, Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Nook, Book Depository, LegumeMan Shop, Smashwords.